ponderings on Christian views of sexual activity

I kind of wonder if the view that premarital sex is sin is somewhat damaging, at least in the way it's presented to young adults.

IE: Christian person commits the sin, convinces self they have to marry the person they have sex with - person goes along - resulting in damaging marriage, messy divorce, etc, etc. (I obviously know someone in this circumstance)

This person I know was much more mature about picking her new spouse, and didn't marry the first guy she dated (thank God).

For me, the situation went better: i.e: while we had kids early and I never managed to finish college, I'm still married. We have issues, but some of those can be attributed to psychological disorders, and we are both well aware of, and accept, our own failings. But there are some who would look at our situation and come to the same conclusion when I think of my friend's situation.

I'm trying to raise my children that the way hormones make you feel is okay, and normal, but that it's better to wait, and it's not the end all and be all to relationships, rather than no! sex bad! but it's all we ever think about!

I just wonder if maybe we should be more open about it, and not just in our families, but in youth groups, etc, as well. It just seems that we as Christians, view certain sins as worse than others. In the eyes of God, most sins are equal. We should explain the real life consequences of sexual activity to our children. That protection, while extremely effective, is not 100%, and that many of us are greatly emotionally effected by physical intimacy, and perhaps it's not something we should give away lightly, even if we do plan on marrying the person, or even if we view it as just a physical act. Because teens and young adults always think they are different, and they won't make the same mistakes, and they know this is true love. Sometimes, it's an escape from pain. But they need to know that they make a mistake and they commit the sin, that they can be forgiven, and they are not obligated to marry their partner. I think, sometimes, what damages marriage is not sin itself, but how easily we can jump into it, so that it is not a careful decision.

The other problem we have is because it's viewed as such a horrible sin, is that some people will give up on Christianity because of it. No Christian is without sin. We are always repenting, and asking forgiveness. We all have a failing. One thing should not be a barrier.

I don't think these situations are in any way rampant, but it's just a few individuals. But individuals matter. I remember how I thought when I was younger. It was very confusing, and I had no positive, Christian support growing up in this area. I hope that it will be different for my children.

overboard...

reading greenwashing report:
http://sinsofgreenwashing.org/findings/greenwashing-report-2009/

One of the sins:
5. Sin of Lesser of Two Evils, committed by claims that may be true within the product category,
but that risk distracting the consumer from the greater environmental impacts of the category
as a whole. Organic cigarettes are an example of this category, as are fuel-efficient
sport-utility vehicles.

Well, a fuel efficient SUV is not a good example when you have a ton of kids, I really wish I had a vehicle with a third row of seats after my most recent road trip with my three kids, one of whom occasionally smacks his sisters (though sometimes the youngest asks for it, he really can't control his strength). So if I had more income a fuel efficient SUV would be good for me, as it's better than buying a not fuel efficient SUV. Now if you're talking about someone that doesn't carpool and doesn't have a lot of kids, then ya, they really should go for a fuel efficient car, but really this whole SUV is evil thing kinda ticks me off. because families with 3 or more kids, well their options are SUV or Van (or they squeeze their kids in a car, like I do because my credit is crappy) and even though Van's don't have the stigma SUVs do they aren't really more fuel efficient either...

Of course if I wanted to be truly environmentally friendly I would have cohabited without having sex and not had 3 children. um, ya, sure, that's it....

We don't want your special education students

Was reading some notes from long range planning in my daughter's
district (MI has schools of choice, so if a district participates, you
can have a chance at sending your child out of district - for Lola
this is a very good thing). Someone posted an email with requests for
opinions. The following is part of my response to that email; this
part had not been discussed in the email. I imagine most of the
parents discussing it do not have special education students, and
might not have been as bothered by the comments in the notes. I know I
had less of an opinion on the subject before I became a special
eduation parent:

I was reading some of the notes before the most recent meeting and was
honestly troubled by the concern that the Montessori program might
attract more special education students, and that it had to be pointed
out that it did not. As the mother of 2 children receiving special
education, my children are far more than the money they cost, and I'm
pretty sure Lola is as much of a benefit to the school as typical
children are. I'm going to take a wild guess that most of the 'special
education' children that would go to the school would be more like
her, and she actually helps keep those test scores up, so really, she
isn't so much of a bad thing. Her severely disabled brother would not
function well in a Montessori classroom, so I haven't sent him there.
It's sad, but likely unavoidable, that in these economic times our
children become dollar signs.

Mortgages

http://www.slate.com/id/2211808/?from=rss

omfg. ppl are stupid. "I was responsible and decided to rent bc I
couldn't afford a mortgage." waaa waaa

That's nice. I WANTED to stay in renting. Unfortunately with three
kids, and living in a college town where you can get lots of $$
packing college students into a house or apartment big enough for a
family, um, ya, renting was prohibitive. My staff status didn't allow
me to stay in University housing.

Add on a wee bit of Schools of Choice doesn't apply to special needs
children under the age of 5 or special needs children in an ISD
program, and, well my choices of wear to live were slim. Unless I
wanted to completely uproot an autistic child's education. regardless
of how excellent or not other choices in my area are, we were getting
progress in his current program. Being that there is no known therapy
or way to do things that works for autistic kids like Tristan, I
wasn't going to risk moving him. So I got a more expensive house, can
barely pay my bills. Not because I was being extravagant, but because
I had to get what I needed. Granted, I also went for an FHA loan
rather than an adjustable rate, and didn't get the house I really
wanted, that didn't need any work, but I did get something that was
more than I wanted to pay. If I could, I'd a kept my butt planted in u
housing. itty bitty living space, extremely economical.

Every area in a single state is different, let alone the whole US,
when it comes to housing. So your big city rent is atrocious and
buying a house is even more irresponsible doesn't apply to most of the
rest of the US. Just like the college town housing issues that I deal
with aren't true elsewhere. It's impossible to lump everyone that's
upside down together.

And why is owning a home so fucking romanticized? About the only thing
I like about it is my attached garage and my fenced in yard. Both of
which are possible to obtain in a rental. poor me, I can't buy a house
because they prices increase and now you want to prop the housing
market up so they continue to increase while I was hoping I could get
something cheap while I try and save a huge down payment. and let's
not even mention what I'm paying in rent, I'm just going to assume
renting is cheaper (newsflash: sometimes it's not. think about it: you
are paying someone money on a property they have to pay a mortgage,
keep up and still make a profit. You have to deal with their get the
cheapest thing possible instead of sinking money into more energy
efficient appliances and you have to deal with their idea of upkeep
instead of your own, which may or may not save you money in the long
run. So no, renting isn't always cheaper.

And what's this "condo" = "irresponsible spending". In my area, condos
are cheaper than houses, and lo and behold, someone else takes care of
the outside upkeep! How the hell is that automatically irresponsible
spending.

I don't know what's in the housing bill, and I do kind of agree with
the idea that we had to prop up the lending area or everyone's
screwed, but why inflate the housing prices and make it harder to get
a house... I can see the logic there. Only if the housing market's
tanked, you still can't get a housing loan because the lenders can't
make any money, so it really doesn't matter if the prices drop so it's
less prohibitive... And bc I put my money to my mortgage first, I'm in
crap condition financially and can't get a loan, say if I get in a car
accident and my car gets totaled, because this or that emergency puts
me in the hole, or if I do get a loan it's at 25% so that financial
bailout only helped those with the squeakiest clean credit. but if you
don't have great credit it's because your irresponsible. because 95%
of the people voting probably don't know how it works, or think
everyone but they themselves is irresponsible.

Yes, I do spend a little too much and I nickle and dime myself to
death, but even if i didn't, I'd not have much to spare... But I'm not
grossly living beyond my means, and I kinda get the idea that as many
people don't get this or that, probably didn't get that they coulda
got an fha mortgage instead of a sub prime one... but then when
interest prices are dropping, adjustable rates look a lot prettier
than fixed ones. Most people aren't capable of going gee, I don't know
what that's gonna do for the 30 yrs I own a home. Most people don't
go, let's see if I live here 10 yrs, I'll have paid more than the
purchase price but still owe most of the purchase price, when I sell,
so even if it increases a little, I'm really not any further ahead
than if I'd just rented. Most people don't get when you're paying 650
a month in rent on a place that has all utilities included, and also
provides high speed internet and cable, you aren't throwing money away
renting. because you'd throw just as much, if not more away into a
house.

A vast majority of the 829 I spend each month (and it was higher
before I got an fha streamline refinance) goes to interest rates and
my escrow. I believe at least 5-600 of it does, if not more. To me,
that's like I'm renting. I mean gee, I get 3 or 400 more back in my MI
tax refund now, but that doesn't make up for the interest and property
tax money. A good portion of the rent you pay when you're renting goes
to the same thing, but for someone else. So it's still you paying the
taxes and interest. It's why you get those few honest lenders that say
you should only look into buying if you are paying more than 800 a
month in rent (not counting utilities).

So no, you aren't necessarily in worse shape or toughing it out by
renting. So stop your sobbing and get over it. I'd honestly much
rather be in your shoes. (unless of course my house that ended up
being on mixed use land actually does sell commercially. Then I'm
gonna be able to pay off all my debt and have a down payment for
another house, or enough money to pay rent for a few years, or if I
wanna get another crappy house I might just be able to buy it... and
then really, I don't want to be in your shoes, but most of us aren't
sitting on houses on mixed use land next to a major grocery/department
store that's being built, and in our current economy, I don't really
think my house is gonna sell anytime soon...).

I'm neglecting this blog.

because I spend all my time on Twitter:

http://twitter.com/navi

Katy Perry

Broadsheet comments on the sexist lyrics:
"You change your mind, like a girl changes clothes/ You PMS like a
Bitch I would know"

and commenters defend...

I'm guessing because they think she's all edgy and cool with her
cliche'd bluntness...

but really, the two songs I've heard on the radio just play off our
society's sexist obsessions.

and like a girl changes clothes like a bitch I would know is not like
some girls and some bitches. thankyouverymuch.

And I frankly take offense at her putting down bipolar disorder in the
song as well ;)

Eeerily Accurate

Navi's Dewey Decimal Section:

421 English writing system & phonology

Navi = 4129 = 412+9 = 421


Class:
400 Language


Contains:
Linguistics and language books.



What it says about you:
You value communication, even with people who are different from you. You like trying new things don't mind being exposed to unfamiliar territory. You get bored with routines that never change.

Find your Dewey Decimal Section at Spacefem.com

Navi's Dewey Decimal Section:

199 Philosophy in other geographic areas

Navi's birthday: 12/21/1978 = 1221+1978 = 3199


Class:
100 Philosophy & Psychology


Contains:
Books on metaphysics, logic, ethics and philosophy.



What it says about you:
You're a careful thinker, but your life can be complicated and hard for others to understand at times. You try to explain things and strive to express yourself.

Find your Dewey Decimal Section at Spacefem.com