Vaccines & Autism...

First it was mercury.... b/c of a swedish study that said a different
form of mercury when ingested in high quantities from fish caused
developmental disorders that were nothing like autism... chelation,
which is designed to remove lead, rather than mercury and interferes
with the bodies' ability to absorb calcium was one of the recommended
therapies...

Then, after the "increase" (I don't believe there's a real increase,
so I put it in quotes - please note I use the word 'believe' that
means its my opinion. It's been formed after limited research. You're
not going to change my mind so don't bother trying, I'll reject your
comment, unless I feel you have a point) kept going, and incidences
didn't drop - well it must be the measles in mmr.

huh? um, okay. it's got to be the vaccines, it's got to be the
vaccines! I get the idea.

Of course the funny thing is, there is a disease in the mmr that can
cause autism symptoms. If pregnant unvaccinated mommy gets rubella and
baby gets congenital rubella, developmental delays similar to autism
can be present... so if you're going to attack one of em, why not
rubella? It's less deadly or damaging, unless you're a pregnant
woman... IE I'd be less scared of people advocating removing rubella
than mumps or measles... but then rubella is 'german measles,' so
maybe ppl got confused.

of course these anti vaccine people say...
vaccines cause autism! 1 in 150! Well, if vaccines didn't cause your
son's autism, they still caused my kids, and we have to help the
whatever small percentage of 1 in 150 that are affected by vaccines!
(and prevent vaccines from causing this by making young children
susceptible to diseases that can be deadly, hey, it's only 3 in 1000.
We're afraid of West Nile but not this! - my interpretation, of
course) Also if it's a small percentage of the 1 in 150, YOU CAN'T USE
THE 1 IN 150 AS A STATISTIC...

note I say 'affected.' From what I've read, anecdotal and research
wise, there was some sort of trigger that occurred immediately
following a vaccination in which some children had a reaction - those
are usually the parents most vehemently convinced it was the vaccine -
kid got vaccinated, kid got sick, kid stopped speaking/babbling,
supposedly, and I agree they have good reason to be so convinced.
However, I believe the vaccine is a trigger, not a cause. Being a
trigger, other things could trigger it if the child wasn't vaccinated.
If it was a cause, we'd have a hell of a lot more autistic kids
walking around, and there'd be a greater percentage in vaccine
conscious countries. There isn't.

I also get, "autism can't be genetic" from some people... "your kid
has to have environmental causes," forget the fact that just about
every single one of his family members have a chunk of idiosyncrasies
similar to autistic symptoms though not enough to be diagnosed
autistic, and each family member has different ones (researchers have
noticed this is the case far more often than in typical families - for
example, engineers, who often have aspergers-ish symptoms have a
higher rate of autistic children than the rest of the population), and
his dad has social issues and ADHD and probably would have been
diagnosed with autism if he was going through school right now with
the same issues he had as a child (even though he's not autistic).
forget the fact that there was no reaction what so ever to the vaccine
or any change after receiving it. the only major changes were after he
learned to run (he was walking a teeny bit two months prior, so run is
a better term) and running became a stim... nope, has to be them
vaccines. I'm sure it has to be them vaccines in all those people who
didn't get vaccinated, too... the drs musta stuck em behind the
parents back or something... (again, my sarcastic interpretation, of
course)

and then theres... kids get so many more jabs now! (and college
students are dying of various diseases and vaccinations are now
required for college entry because they didn't get jabbed back then,
but hey, at least those dead students had a non autistic childhood!)
but then they say, separate the jabs! Okay, is it too many jabs or not
enough? people, make up your minds!

I'm pretty sure part of the reason, besides being more effective in
younger ages, kids get jabbed so early, is that's when the parents are
taking em in for every single little thing. It ensures they get the
protection. Also it's easier b/c you can require the shots for entry
into the germ infested world that is daycare and school...

So basically the world is getting scared of vaccines by special
interest groups and the media over what is probably a very small
percentage of the 1 in 150 they love to tout. Makes a whole world of
sense...

I admit, I fall for it a bit myself. I held my breath when Lily got
jabbed, waiting for some major change that just might prove me
somewhat wrong, but no. So far she's the only one in the family that
could actually be described as 'typical.'

Silly Lily

Silly Lily
Originally uploaded by Navi_

Gawd, I think this is cute.

reading Dooce and Lola and Tristan and Puppies

reading Dooce, http://www.dooce.com/2008/02/15/life-two-dogs-much-different-life-beach-margarita,
and came across this quote:
"And Leta is jumping up and down on the couch screaming I DIDN'T POOP
ON THE FLOOR! IT WASN'T ME! Because you clearly cannot get ahead in
life if you are not actively taking advantage of every opportunity to
make yourself look good. The dog tracked poop all over the floor, yes,
but more importantly SHE DIDN'T. And she was expecting a trophy."

Lola does that. Only it's not, "look at me, I'm so good." It's "OH, MY
GOODNESS, MOM THINKS I DID IT! AND I DIDN'T DO IT!" replete with all
the drama my little diva can muster... and divas can muster a lot of
drama...

And she does this even when it's obvious, absolutely obvious, that my
comment is directed at Tristan. and I'm not yelling. Because when your
child is at the developmental level of a toddler, with the gross motor
skills of a 5 yr old, you tend to say the same things over and over.
(Kind of like you do with puppies... I don't mean to disparage the
little guy, but I do think dogs are an awful lot like toddlers, and
when my kids' godmother, who's only kids are mine, who has two young
dogs, complains about something her dog did, I keep having to say, or
think, Tristan does the exact, same, thing...). So it should most
definitely be obvious to her extremely advanced little mind that it's
Tristan, and not her, but she's all she's processing is Mom's not
happy.

I guess, though, I probably should be glad that my happiness is so
excruciatingly important to her... though I'm wondering what it is
I've done to make her freak out like that...

more on monitoring

okay... so read the New Yoker article:
http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2008/01/21/080121fa_fact_wright

It opens with an incident where a warrant was required to listen in on
communications in an effort to find 3 kidnapped soldiers because they
communications might cross into the US.

On the outset, yes, that's a problem. Yes, reform is needed...

then I read on. the warrant is required 72 hrs after monitoring
begins... So they can monitor right away? so where is the warrant
causing delay? If 72 hrs isn't enough time to obtain a warrant, extend
the waiting period a little, and only in specific situations where
someone's life is specifically in danger. Major reform isn't
necessary... I'm confused.

*Ok, read a bit further, and that New Yorker article is extremely biased, a bit inaccurate and has some errors (such as mentioned we were losing in Iraq and listed other countries besides Iraq that al qaeda was gaining power in, and they listed Iraq again when I think they meant Iran... - that paragraph, kind of made the article lose a bit of credibility...)

On a more positive note...

Lily is apparently more comfortable with the way she says Tristan
(which doesn't really sound like Tristan but we can tell its his name)
that she's now calling him Tristan instead of Diego. I kind of miss
the way she said his middle name. but then, the way she says thank you
sounds like his middle name, too so I'm sure she needed a way of
differentiating the two...

and Lola's relative popularity astounds me.

She does crave social interaction, but she can also be difficult to
deal with, and prone to explosions. Though when she's not freaking
out, she is usually very friendly and nice to everyone. She also has a
tendency to fight for someone (verbally) who doesn't necessarily feel
they need any back up. Basically if she thinks somethings not fair for
someone else, she get just as upset as if she thought it was not fair
for herself...

So you'd think, she might be a bit awkward around others, like I was,
or like her father was. Well, there are a few kids that she's a bit
awkward around (but they're still nice to her most of the time - she
goes to a great school with a great group of kids). But for the most
part the kids love her. Everybody knows who I am when I say I'm Lola's
mom, including their parents. Of course I have no clue who they are,
as she only mentions a handful of kids' names. The kids, and in a few
cases their parents, ask for her when she's not around (I volunteered
at a Saturday morning event solo recently). They miss her when she
misses school. There's a parent of a kid 2 grades behind her that was
in her class last year that went out of her way to reach us so we
could arrange a playdate - her kid has sensory issues, so she knows
how to deal with Lola's issues, and she feels Lola is a good role
model because of her imagination). And kids she barely talked to
enough to remember hurry up to catch up with her and say hi, and then
have to remind her who they are (this happened in the store recently
with a boy who is now in 6th grade - Lola's in 4th - after
reintroducing himself they chatted along merrily, leaving their
respective parents in the dust as they walked straight to the video
game section - luckily my husband was headed over there anyway...
don't know about the other kids' dad, but we had a good talk about the
Montessori school).

Security vs Privacy

Just Read This:
http://www.wired.com/politics/security/commentary/securitymatters/2008/01/securitymatters_0124

It was forwarded as a Cryptogram email to our non work list.

As much as I'm online, monitoring all of my activity would be
comparable to having a police officer follow me everywhere all day,
every day. except for maybe when I'm in the bathroom.

Granted, as much as I'm online, I don't do anything illegal (that I
know of). So theoretically I have nothing to worry about. Except for
the fact that I'm outspoken and ethnically ambiguous. Even though for
all my outspokenness most of what I say is relatively innocuous.

On the "ethnically ambiguous" comment, I've repeatedly been asked by
friends and complete strangers where they hell I'm from. Um the accent
doesn't tell you the USofA??? oh, but I have fuzzy dark hair, and I
don't quite look white, or black for that matter, so I must be from
somewhere other than Here. For the record, my father was born in
Puerto Rico, as were his parents, and their parents, and their
parents... My mother is from MI and is of primarily Irish American
decent - so generations and generations and generations of my family
are all natural born American citizens, thankyouverymuch, as am I ...
Just because I haven't experienced prejudice outside of family members
making ignorant comments, doesn't mean I believe it doesn't exist or
couldn't eventually hurt me. But maybe I have that attitude, because I
was partially raised by a Puerto Rican from Phillie. My dad quizzed us
on current politicians to ensure that we knew the answers if our
citizenship was ever questioned. Annoying. very annoying. but, I
wonder why he felt it was necessary. Maybe because he was a dark
skinned Latino in Texas...

Anyway back on topic... This shit is scary. Not the fact that their
trying to do it. but the fact that most people believe they have to
give up their privacy and liberties. It seems only the 'geeks' and
'radicals' seem to get it. Mainstream everybody, well they're willing
to let us go to hell in a handbasket because they are afraid of
getting blown up. even though they're more likely to get hit by a
drunk driver...

Of course, our country is set up so we can pull ourselves out of the
cliche Orwellian murk. And we have in the past. Hopefully we do so in
the future, as well (though now would be preferable). That's the one
thing that separates us from the police states people like to compare
us to. We're set up to fix it relatively peacefully. One of the many
things to love about our country.

My son's school district makes no sense

well, actually it does. because they do this stupid shit to save
money. my daughter's school district doesn't, but then they have more
money...

anyway. person that handles the bus schedules and coordinates all the
stuff from the bus garage? also drives a bus. so you can't really get
through a good chunk of the day.

no special ed busses. Tristan gets to sit on an overcrowded bus, where
there's no way in hell the driver can reasonably keep tabs on him
(matter of fact, his harness came loose on the ride at some point, and
stayed that way all the way home when I found him way far forward b/c
he fell asleep.) No one sits immediately next to him usually, at
least. once there was a kid inexplicably there, which is stupid
because Tristan sometimes smacks people when he's tired. and if the
kid messed with him, well you know, he might just instead of putting
up with it react (most of the time he puts up with it though). Legally
they can't put anyone behind him, besides another special ed kid in a
harness, so at least that's one good thing, at least. but kids can sit
across the aisle from him (luckily there are some girls that have gone
to a daycare w/ him on the bus so because of them he's less likely to
get messed with. a lot of the time they ask to sit across from him, I
guess because they think he's cute (he always falls asleep on the
bus).

but this sucks. I miss my door to door service, my wait until pick up
time or wait at least a minute in case your almost ready buses.

Momma's Girl

Lily is frequently very mommy attached. As in, if I'm home, she needs
to be attached to me. Oddly, she's usually okay when I leave, unless
she's particularly tired, and frequently will happily tell me bye bye
repeatedly as I go out the door.

We're just about done nursing, thanks to a kidney infection and
antibiotics. For the most part, she's happy just hugging me, and no
longer has to nurse to be consoled or put to sleep (If I'm not home
she'll fall asleep no problem on her own). But I still have milk and
yesterday we woke her up from a nap to go shopping after I got out of
work, and nursing her was the easiest way to get her to chill out so I
could get her dressed...

She also sometimes overnight lifts up my shirt, and my bra, and just
decides she's going to nurse anyway...

Well, last night, not only did she nurse, but she nursed forever...
and at like 4 AM could not be consoled to go to sleep... being that I
needed to be up at 5 so I could get to work at 6, this was a little
disconcerting...

anyway, eventually she started chilling out but would periodically cry
because I decided she was done nursing... And then finally when
pulling my arm around her, she noticed my watch on my wrist. and
proceed to attempt to remove it by slipping it off my wrist. So I take
it off, she reaches for it, so I put it on her. boom. she's happy, and
goes to sleep.

Its a bracelet watch, so it wasn't much of a deal to slip it off her
wrist without waking her when I left for work. But I thought it was
kinda funny that she went to sleep after getting the watch.

Communication deficits

sometimes I wonder if communication and behavioral issues in autism
can't be compared to communication and behavioral issues in other
respects.

I've heard those with aspergers or others with autism who are able to
communicate that things that are trivial to most can be painful to
them.

And I think about my labor and delivery. I've used birthing hypnosis
(or hypnobirthing) and it works quite well, but I get way to anxious
towards the end to use it effectively, so for my second and third
child, I had the plan of getting the epidural at the point where I
couldn't stand it any longer. On every single one of my labor and
deliveries, I didn't have adequate sleep. They were only between 8 and
10 hrs long, but lack of sleep interferes with communication, as does
pain, and with my son, I also stupidly accepted the nubain before the
epidural to attempt to prevent the need for epidural (if you want to
be coherent, epidural yes, nubain no) so that interfered with my
communication quite a bit as well...

Well, at the point I was getting said epidural, the anesthesiologist
said he had to do it between contractions. At the point he said that I
was between contractions. At the point he said that I only had a few
seconds in between contractions. So my response was "well do it now!"
Which came out as I'm in pain, give me meds now, but really was
intended to be, "My contractions are really close together and right
now is an extremely short period of time in between my contractions,
if you don't do it now, you'll have to wait a bit." However, I was no
where near coherent enough to say what I was thinking, so I just
sounded like the crazed mother in childbirth reacting to her pain, who
wanted meds now. (of course I had a frigging monitor on me so I have
no idea why they couldn't use that to verify what I was thinking :P)

That's how I think about it when Tristan is screaming for no apparent
reason. Drives my husband up the wall and admittedly, when my temper
is short, it drives me up the wall, but I think he's in discomfort and
has no way of telling us what he needs, and so it saddens me but
doesn't make me as mad as if say, he was a typical child throwing a
tantrum just to get what he wants.

Appalled isn't the word for it

http://lefarkins.blogspot.com/2008/02/not-totally-false-but-not-true-either.html

yes, these female suicide bombers were suicide bombers, not disabled
individuals who have been taken advantage of by insurgents, because
you know, a disabled life has no value. (for those that can't read
into it, that is sarcasm, my friends). We just want to advertise that
women are dangerous too! screw the whole unbelievably shocking other
side to the story. I have no words for it. Appalled doesn't even begin
to express my reaction to this...